looking to BeLOnG

So I actually said the words, "I have it posted on my blog..." in class yesterday (I was talking about Pop'd Culture, not this one.) while the teacher was looking for the link to the John Kerry/Taser clip on YouTube. I have been avoiding that sentence like I avoid Manhattan in my car-- and for a lot of the same reasons. 1. It's scary. 2. It's the symbol of looming death (literature rather than my passengers in this case.) And, 3. I'm really not sure I want to be 'that person' participating in completely unnecessary acts of pollution in an already oversaturated environment. But, nonetheless, the words came blurting out after 12 seconds of thoughtful consideration in an attempt to be social/helpful. In the end, we watched an unedited and terribly bumpy version of the clip from another source (which is lucky because I would have given this sight and been embarassed), and I faded back into the table of faces without being any more awkward than usual. (I might have even come out under par.)
I don't know why it seems lame to admit to blogging, especially since I dedicate a good half hour or so a day to various blogs that I've come to check regularly and enjoy immensely. I think it goes back to a general fear and over-protectiveness of my writingl. I also think it comes from the idea that blogging seems like some sort of pseudo-intellectual masturbation for people who don't get to talk to humans as much as they'd like. Or, maybe, it's that I feel very self-involved and then immediately self-loathing for getting excited when people leave comments and/or fulfilled when they give kudos. (What, wrong blog? My bad.)
Anyway, what brought the whole thing up is that I got my very first comment on my blog for the last post by J. Elliot. Like I said, I thought it was very cool that someone read it, which gave me the confidence to talk about it in class, which made me examine all of these just-below-the-surface feelings that I have now stretched into multiple droning yet self-pleasuring paragraphs. As it turns out, J. Elliot's game is to post on blogs in order to have the authors feel appreciative enough to check out his own blog in return. He is a musician that posts a song a week that he has written and recorded in the closet studio of his studio apartment. Evil or Genius or a combination of the two? It's unclear. But what isn't undecided is how I feel about his music: it's good. I like it a lot.
So even though I feel a little bit manipulated by the whole thing, I'm not a loser in his mad game because I found a few songs that I really enjoy, especially "The Easy Way Out", which is the first one he posted.
Subtlety isn't really my best character trait, so I've inserted about as many links to his site as I can without seeming pushy. (Oh, I do seem pushy? My Bad.) You should check him out. He's good and obviously has the ruthless cunning it takes to succeed in Venice Beach. (I've seen Californication and don't know exactly what I am talking about.) Or leave me a comment so that I will check out your blog. Yeah, I might think you have a crush on me or something, at first, but I won't hold it against you if you don't hold it against me.